When you're the best, around!
I was lucky enough to catch Karate Kid not once, but twice last week!!
When I was like 11, I thought I learned karate by watching this movie. And I was right.
"How much is this thing anyway?"
This week so far at work has been stupid question week. I know the old adage blah blah blah, but who ever came up with that adage obviously did not work in the fast food industry. Here's just a sample;(these were actual questions)
1."What's this ice for?"
My reply: We put ice in cups to help keep drinks cold. Try it some time!
2.(Asked while I was wearing oven mitts)"Is that pan hot?"
Reply: No, this pan causes cancer and these gloves help protect me.
3.When I asked someone to take out the trash; "All of it?"
Reply: No just about 2/3. We'll let god worry about the rest.
Now, these questions and answers may sound contrived, but I assure you that they are all legit. These are not stoner dumb people(like in the pizza biz), but just generally dumb.
I gotta admit that I do have fun with these people. There really is nothing more exhilirating than pointing out the shortcomings of others. By the way, you're not allowed to rent here anymore.
And then there were five
Just recieved word that there will be yet another addition to the Umlor family. The Bacon Martyr revealed to me that she is with child. I will finally have enough people in my family to have a starting five for basketball. I have a 6 year old girl, Baillie,
and a nine month old son we call the Dude. If any of you are thinking about having children, let
this tool help disuade you. If you want kids, come babysit mine for a day.
I got me the Kung Fu Hustle
I watched all three of the movies I rented yesterday. And no, I did not watch Way of the Gun, Jew. I don't watch it on purpose. I like hearing your nasal whine about me not watching it. It makes me smile.
So, Be Cool. I really didn't think this movie even came close to the first, Get Shorty. I mean, The cast was great, but the plot and execution just wasn't there. It was like a not as cool version of Get Shorty. The best characters in the movie were Vince Vaughn's The Rocks, and Andre 3000. Vince Vaughn trying to be black was awesome. I love watching him in movies that he is a complete dick.
Robots. Good movie to watch with the kids.Robin Williams coked up shtick is getting pretty old, especially now that he does it while he is not coked up. Cool visuals, good message, all around good family movie.
Now on to Kung Fu Hustle. I personally thought this movies was the shit. You got subtitles, but the humor and action was there. I would definitely recommend this to any old school kung fu or John Woo fan. I was surprised to find that even my wife liked it, the humor kept her involved. However, the action is not to be scoffed at. These guys take "bullet" time to a different level, and it kicked ass.
By the way, I bitched about Blockbuster yesterday in my post, that karma came around and bit me in the ass by making Be Cool about a third unwatchable. My name is still not Earl
Movie Expectations
This picture is for Stemshul.
After spending a day with no children (which was sweet) the Bacon Martyr(My wife) and I decided that we were going to go rent some movies.(I know, how lame with Netflix and everything). We wanted to see two in particular; the Rise of Carlito Brigante, a prequel to the excellent Carlito's Way, and the new Family Guy movie, Stewie Griffin, the Untold Story. Now realisitcally, I think that the Rise of Carlito is going to suck.
You can't replace Pacino with anyone, so I wouldn't be too disappointed if they didn't have it. But Stewie, oh I wanted to see that. Do you think Blockbuster had either? Hell no. First off, I went to two Blockbusters, and between the two of them they had six Stewie movies. 6. There were literally 100 Miss Congenialty II's(both places combined).Secondly, why does it seem like all employees at video stores are dicks? I asked the guy there if we could reserve it."No, we don't do that. They get returned when people drop them off." Uh, no shit? BlockBuster kinda sucks. We did find a couple however, Kung Fu Hustle, Robots, and Be Cool. Movie night and burgers. Sweet. So sweet, that maybe I'll post this, TWICE!
And I just thought it was a show created by a bunch of acid heads
Wow! I don't smoke near enough pot to even think of this!
The Blue Menace
Chrsitianity and the rise of hypocrisy
I just got throught reading Stemshul's adventure with the CHRISTIANS at his Inn. I agree with about 90% of what he says with the exception of one thing. I don't believe most christians are good. From my experiences they are condescending, egotistical, self righteous bastards who would rather impart their doctrine on others than live be their own self professed creed. The whole bible is just chock full of inconsistencies, runaround, and rhetoric. christians believe in a book re-written by a king! What the fuck? I am the only person that sees a problem with that? A king! That's like letting W
rewrite the Bill of Rights. The ones who label themselves christians openly and wear it on their sleeve are the ones I have the biggest problem with. I wonder how I would get treated if I put a big fish symbol with legs growing off of it on my car with atheist in the middle. My guess is like the way the treat everyone who doesn't believe. With utter contempt, fear, and paranoia.
Jesus Christos is aaiiiight though. Word to his mother!
My name is not Earl
I know Katohater digs this show, and I agree with him. Jason Lee portrays the sterotypical white trash loser to a T. Jamie Pressly, man, it is like she is born to play trailer trash. Remember the
Jerry Springer movie? Did the Producers of Earl watch that movie, call Jamie, and tell her, "Just act like that?" This show is funny as hell, and I hope that NBC continues it. Also did anyone else recognize Randy as the fat nazi from
Amercian History X? He lost some serious weight. (As have I from not sitting on my fat arse driving around all day for Hell's Pizza)
Remember, the
Passion.
I am the God of War
Just thought I would let everyone know that I am the God of War.
I normally don't have enough time or money for video games, but with the new job keeping me out until 1 to 4 in the morning, I now suddenly have time to play. This game was freakin' sweet. For all I know, this game is old. But I still recommend it to anyone who likes blood, violence, and Greek Mythololgy. I am the God of War!
Yup.....It's the wires that cost so much.
Last week I was having some car troubles. All of the sudden, my check engine light comes on, and it feels like my car wants to puke every time I try to take off. After investigating the sypmtoms on line( I am not very knowledgeable about cars,) and a trip to
Auto Zone (where they will do a free diagnostics check on your car) I came to the conclusion that I needed new spark plugs and wires.
Now, being not very car smart, I call my local garage(not
A and A auto). I tell the guy what is wrong and ask him for a quote.
He tells me, " Well, I just did this to a Hyundai last week, and it ran I think around $270.00"
Me-"$270.00? Are you serious? For plugs and wires?
Him-"Yup, it's the wires that cost so much."
Me-"All right then, I'll call you back."
Now I'm not that car smart, but $270.00? That just sounded outfuckingrageous!
So I consulted my trusty internet and discovered two things: 1. Hyundai is the only car company in America that puts it's
service manuals online for free 2. Changing plugs and wires was not hard.
I go to Auto Zone, and ask for plugs and wires. bracing myself for the huge dent in my checkbook. "That'll be $42.13"
$42.13!
What the fuck? $270.00 to $42.13? Must be in the labor.
I go home and take the twenty minutes from start to finish to complete the job.
$270.00?
Fuck you Swanson's Auto, you just lost me. I used to refer you to people because of your quality and price, but now, you can get fucked.
I am also wondering now if the Jew has done the same thing to me......Wait, yup, he probably has.
Gay ass Jew
